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’ ‘No mum I haven’t spoken to dad for more than a week. This is just something that came into my head explosively.’ ‘Yes you and your head or rather you vision as he calls it and you always were a wet emotionally. What you need to develop is a stiffer backbone.’ ‘Mum!’ ‘Get off my back darling. Very well, I’ll contact him about this. I agree it does seem the right thing to do.’ The call finished a couple of minutes later, both mother and daughter saying they loved each other. Elle stood looking at her phone. She couldn’t believe she’d just had that conversation. For goodness sake, it sounded like slapstick, with her being the country yokel. Was that really me? She decided it was, and that behind it all she was wrought over her tantalizingly close sexual relationship with Donovan. ‘I better take a cold shower,’ she said aloud and went to her bedroom, going to bed instead of taking a shower and was asleep peacefully, seconds after her head hit the pillow. Next day Elle was steady as a. . such as it isI recently bought a bag of air. The company that made it was nice enough to put in a few potato chips... How many thin mints do you have to eat before they start working?My wife just stopped and said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”I thought to myself, “That’s a pretty weird way to start a conversation.”Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.If stupidity were a disability, I know a few people who’d be getting monthly checks... You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism.
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